Asshole attack on OkCupid

Having essentially given up on internet dating, I never use any of the websites where I still maintain a dating profile. Most of them are pay sites anyway, where you have to pay just to send a message to someone to let them know you’re interested. And then the guy never responds. Or if he does, it’s only to say “not interested” or hit me up for casual sex. The only one who gets anything out of it is the dating site, which is raking in the money. Why pay a dating site that’s doing nothing for me?

So, yeah. I’ve given up. I still maintain a profile on a few dating sites, but never use them. Every once in a while, some guy will send me a free “flirt,” “wink” or other free notification used by dating sites to let me know he’s checked out my profile. Sometimes I’ll have a look, briefly check out the guy’s profile to see if I’m interested, to see if we might have some commonalities. Nine times out of 10, we don’t.

OkCupid (aka, OkStupid; MehCupid) sends the notification themselves. The guy doesn’t have to send a “wink” or “flirt” if he doesn’t want to. OkCupid lets me know any time someone’s checked out my profile, which happens maybe once or twice a month, if that. I can usually tell by the guy’s thumbnail pic and username if he’s a match for me or not, and most of the time, it’s not. Every once in a while, I’ll get a good candidate, or at least one that doesn’t immediately turn me off, and will venture to check out his profile.

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  • Current Music
    Flaming Lips, "Turning Violent"


Geez, it seems like forever since I've visited or posted anything on LJ. That's largely due to the fact that I moved to a new place at the end of last month and have been busy settling in, finishing up the school year (graduation was the first week of June, which creates a lot of extra work for high school counselors), and learning what streets to take in my new neighborhood.
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  • Current Music
    Talking Heads, "Houses In Motion"

pity party

I think I had a bit of a pity party for myself last weekend before my b-day on Monday.  I was feeling sad because I was hoping for a little recognition from my family - a card or phone call, at least - and didn't receive any over the weekend.  When I got home from work on Monday afternoon, however, I had a card in the mail from my family and one from my bio mom in NY.  It was enough, at least for now.  I felt a little better.

There are other ginormous holes in my life at the moment, but it would be far too painful for me to write about them right now, since writing means thinking about, reflecting on and examining my feelings about those issues.  And I'm just not ready to go there yet.  So it's back to radio silence for a while.  Apologies.
  • Current Music
    The Raveonettes, "Dead Sound"


What does it say about me that I share a birthday with Leonard Nimoy, Aretha Franklin's is one day before, Lady Gaga's is 2 days after, and I have none of the courage, talent or intelligence of any of them?


My birthday is on Monday.  I have not received a card or phone call from anyone in my family.  True, there's still tomorrow, but I'm honestly not expecting anything.
  • Current Music
    School of Seven Bells, "LaFaye"


A couple weeks ago, a blogger I read on a fairly regular basis posted the above pic on her blog.  She wrote that she’d developed a major case of the Fuck-Its and it was affecting her desire to blog.  I so identified with this statement, I decided to borrow it, pic and all, for myself.  I have a MAJOR case of the Fuck-Its right now, and it’s affecting my desire to blog.  Sometimes when I’m feeling too overwhelmed by my emotions, it’s hard for me to sit down and write about them, to sit here at my computer and choose words that are supposed to describe my emotional state when I haven’t even figured it out for myself.  Which is why I haven’t written about things that are going on with me lately.  It feels like there’s almost too much going on.
For the past 2 months, I’ve been in a pretty deep state of emotional overwhelm as one incident after another (some of them minor but very annoying, and others not so minor) have been building up.  I haven’t even started to process my feelings about some of these incidents yet, leading to the emotional overwhelm.  But in an effort to inform you of what’s been going on in my life, and to help create a more “manageable” list for myself, here’s what’s been happening, in order of appearance:

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  • Current Music
    Grinderman, "Depth Charge Ethel"